If Today...

Over the last couple of semesters, I’ve given a writing assignment to my students. I play the Nickelback song, “If Today Was Your Last Day” and ask them to write about what they really hope to accomplish in this lifetime. I assure them that I’m looking for the hope in their lives and not truly hoping something bad happens to them; they respond with wit, depth, and dreams far beyond what I ever could have imagined for them. They pour out onto paper what they really want to be “when they grow up,” they present what’s best in them and remind me that I need to do the same, as well.

The song came up randomly today while I was hiking outside, looking up at the snow on Pike’s Peak. It made me think about some of us who tend to push the pause button in our lives when our spouse is away from us for long periods of time. But, I think the message that can be pulled from the lyrics is that there is every reason to keep living, hoping, becoming while our other halves are on the other side of the world. I thought I’d share some of Chad Kroeger’s lyrics and my thoughts on them with you. If nothing else, download the song…it makes for a great listen!

“My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride…”

How much stronger is your marriage going to be if both of you can keep growing while you aren’t geographically co-located? If you can dump your fears and jump onto the “who I want to be when I grow up” train, you’ll both bring so much more to the partnership when you get back together. For those of you who are staying home, your mate is going through profound change while overseas; keep it interesting – be the force for your own change, too. The hubby is over making a difference in the world and I’m now trying to take over the publishing world. Both of us are putting effort into our respective endeavors and have tons to chat about when we Skype each other. When someone asks what I want to be, I say “I want to be a writer!” How about y’all? What do you want to be?

“Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life…”

I’ve got friends out there who truly do suck the marrow out of life. They are examples of what this song is about. If there is something they want to do, they do it. There is no waiting for next year, or next decade, or next lifetime for this group. I aspire to be more like them. I do understand that there must be a balance, too; work must be done to earn the money to do the things we want to do. But the idea of grabbing what you want keeps me going. So, for those of you who dive the Great Barrier Reef, jump out of perfectly good airplanes, and fly planes and helicopters to ridiculous places, keep it up. We need more adrenaline in the world!

“And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?...”

Forgiving enemies can be a powerful experience. I tend to hold a grudge with the best of them, but I’ve been trying, lately, to just get over it. Holding on to negative emotions is just toxic to me, so why not just let stuff go? It doesn’t mean I’ll allow myself to be walked on, but accepting an apology when offered to me is a direction I’m trying to go. I’ll keep you posted. :->

As far as finding ‘the one you’re dreaming of,’ look at where you are in your life and ask yourself who you would want to spend your last day with. Are you with that person? If the answer is no, what do you need to do to ‘finally fall in love?’ I think we all are faced with transitional periods in our lives and can flounder a bit before finding our way. I found my way when I found my Seal. But, I took the lead and asked him out on a date…well, actually, I asked what he was cooking for me the next Friday, but that’s technically a date…right?? (It was Tequila Lime Chicken…it was good enough I proposed to him!) The point is, I didn’t just wish I could spend time with my crazy/perfect-for-me partner; I took steps to make it a reality. Where do you want to be, with whom, and what do you need to do to get there? Whew!! That’s a lot of questions, huh? Sorry, I’m not trying to be heavy-handed here, but, screw it! If you’re settling in your life, STOP IT!! You can be happy! You may have to do some tough things in the interim and it may be a little uncomfortable for a while. But, in the end, on that last day, it will all have been worth it. Trust me.

What I like most about the song and the assignment, is that while asking the tough the questions, it also gives us the tools, the hope, and the impetus to make a difference in our lives.

“You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side”

I’d be interested to hear what you guys have to say about the future. What are your hopes and dreams? What do you want to be when you grow up? Remember, I wish only the best for all of you. So, if you’ve pushed the pause button, hit play again. Live your life. Follow your dreams. You deserve it.

Peace, love, and a hell of a future!