Deployment Announcement - How am I supposed to open the %*@>ing pickle jar?

Like many other people connected with the military recently, my husband came home and told me about "deployment opportunities." Choosing to handle this with my normal finesse, I promptly dissolved into tears. Helpful? Not really. Honest? Totally. It's okay, he's used to me and my responses. At least, I hope he is!

Now that we've gotten through two short deployments to Iraq and are two months into a longer deployment, I thought I would try to gather my survival strategies (some more successful than others, but I'll let you be the judge) together in the hopes of assisting other spouses and military members with their separations.

I will try to use the word "spouse" while writing this blog instead of "husband," as one of my girlfriends is the deployed military member and her husband is the one staying behind. Also, as a former military member myself, I feel strongly about supporting the chicks who are still active duty and serving in the reserves. It can be interesting and sort of lonely being one of the few women in a unit, so I hope to share experiences from that point of view, as well.

So, the spouse is leaving for a while. There are some things that you can do to make the transition easier. For me, I had my husband go through the fridge and the pantry and loosen all the bottles and jars. It sounds ridiculous, but the biggest melt-down I ever had was over a jar of pickles. He was on a boat off the coast of Africa for his job (don't ask) and had been gone for 90 days. During that time, I had worked my way through the pickles in the already-open jar and moved on to the new jar from the pantry. The jar was new...and stuck. I tried everything I could think of to get it open. I ran the lid under hot water, I used one of the "grippers" to try to unset the lid, I swore at it, I tapped on it with a knife along the top; nothing worked. I was doubly frustrated since I was a fitness trainer at the time and thought I had left my, "honey, can you open this jar for me?" days behind me. I was wrong. I was pissed. And now, I was living in a pickle-free kitchen.

That was the moment that his absense really made itself known. Who knew that it would be the little things that would highlight the fact that he was wasn't home? That he was elsewhere, (most of the time, I don't really know his location) ostensibly opening pickle jars for his country. After giving into my rage, I remembered something I learned in the military. For every job, just use a hammer! I know, the military doesn't like admitting that either, but it is true more often than we'd like to think. I trooped out to the cement patio, hammer in hand, and smashed the hell out of the pickle jar. (Kids, do not try this at home!) After washing the pickles and picking the glass shards from my fingers, I ate them anyway. I considered those my victory pickles. Again, it's the small things that make a difference.

The moral of the story: When your partner isn't around to assist with the everyday tasks - Get a hammer and apply judiciously, along with a sense of humor. If you can do that, you'll get through the deployment. Because you know your spouse gets a hammer issued upon arrival, it is the military, after all!