Walden Done Weird

Hello, People!

I find it fantastic that author Seth Grahame-Smith took one of Jane Austen’s most famous novels and turned it into Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. As an English Prof, anything that helps me hook students into reading is a bonus…and Zombies are it! Lately, I’ve given them the option of writing their mid-terms on whether they’d rather be a Ninja or a Pirate (forces them to form an argument and support it) or who they think would be better suited to survive a Zombie attack – me or their Math instructor, and why. They seem to warm to both of the challenges. Hmm, maybe they just like the idea of Math and English instructors being devoured by Zombies. Great students!!

I’ve only read bits and pieces of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies so far, but I love what I’ve seen. He also wrote one called Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter, which I’m looking forward to taking on my road trip with me. Can’t get enough of Lincoln or Vampires! Should be a fun summer read on the beach…as we all know I’ll be safe from the vampires there in the sun! And, I'm probably safe from Lincoln, too...but he's wily, that one! :->

Both of these books got me to thinking about other classics that might benefit from a mash-up treatment. Blasphemy in someone's world, I'm sure, but I started with Alice in Wonderland. Problem is, Zombies would fit right in to a story with White Rabbits wearing waistcoats and grinning Cheshire Cats hiding out in tree branches. Sadly, Zombies run the risk of seeming almost de rigueur in a novel such as that. So, then the hubby made a joke over Skype about Zombies running amok through the pages of Walden. Here poor Thoreau writes of a peaceful life and then has to fend off Zombies…I like it!! But…Zombies have been done already…so how about turning Thoreau into a Vampire, instead? I’ve taken the liberty of starting this project, so as you read the next few paragraphs, imagine that the main character is a Vampire instead of human – it totally changes the feel of his prose. I think it will be a perfect fit! My sincerest apologies to Henry David Thoreau…and literature professors the world over, but I’ve already begun to reshape his novel with a few of my own words. And, as I’ve said before, changing things injects dopamine into your system.

Here’s to Walden and Dopamine!

Economy
When I wrote the following pages, or rather the bulk of them, I lived alone, in the woods, a mile from any neighbor, in a house which I had built myself, on the shore of Walden Pond, in Concord, Massachusetts, and earned my living by the labor of my hands and my teeth only. I lived there two years and two months before I was summarily evicted by the angry throng. At present I am a sojourner in civilized life again. I should not obtrude my affairs so much on the notice of my readers if very particular, very boisterous inquiries had not been made by my townsmen concerning my mode of life, which some would call impertinent, though they do not appear to me at all impertinent, but, considering the circumstances, very natural and pertinent, as these townsmen were only looking to protect their families and livestock from me and my ilk.

Some have asked what I got to eat; if I did not feel lonesome; if I was not afraid; and the like. Others have been curious to learn what portion of my income I devoted to charitable purposes; and some, who have large families, how many poor children I maintained, how many I consumed. I will therefore ask those of my readers who feel no particular interest in me to pardon me if I undertake to answer some of these questions in this book. In most books, the I, or first person, is omitted; in this it will be retained; that, in respect to egotism, is the main difference. We commonly do not remember that it is, after all, always the first person that is speaking. I should not talk so much about myself if there were anybody else whom I knew as well. Unfortunately, I am confined to this theme by the narrowness of my own Vampiric experience. And, perhaps in sharing information regarding my peculiar condition, I might be able to save others from this fate.

Okay, my literary friends, what do you think? Is this worth pursuing? Can this be funny, irreverent, and still honor the original? Feedback, people!! Feedback!! :->



I've also taken the liberty of building a photo mashup of one of the iconic scenes from the 1922 horror movie Nosferatu and the lovely cabin drawing by Sophia Thoreau used in Walden. Hmm, is this how Thoreau looked while walking up the stairs after a night of feeding frenzies around his peaceful cabin retreat? I shudder to think! :-)

Peace, Love, and Mash-ups to you All!